on Apr 2nd, 2007Monday Jam — The Erotic EP
You can climb a mountain
You can swim the sea
You can jump into the fire
But you’ll never be free
And then they finish with a drum solo, the bass player drops the bass line into the mix by, get this, detuning the damn thing while he plays it. The whole universe come screaming into your earholes like an out of control freight train. The guitars come back in with a little skiffle beat thing going on, your brain leaps out of your head in an engineers exploded drawing of cogs and gears; you’re up shaking your white white white ass and yelling out “Whoaaaaaaaa, Whooooaaaaaaaa, WE CAN MAAAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY….”
That’s why I do monday jam for you every week, because the right music prys your mouth open and pours in 10 gallons of fresh guts.
If you can’t listen to Jump Into The Fire and find the sack to endure 40 hours of working for the Man then you are beyond help. Keep cowering in the corner sucking your thumb and saying “Yes sir” to your craven superiors as they suck the blood from your carcass and convert it into their yearly bonus checks.
Damn. Sorry, I’ve allowed myself to get off track. What I really wanted to write about is sensuality.
It’s springtime and that means that all around us nature is waking up and having a brain staggering amount of sex. This will only accelerate as it warms. Before long you won’t be able to sleep because of the cacaphony of cat yowling, dog howling, bird chirping, and rabbit humping.
Now, you, my dear readers, are the freakshow offspring of intellectuals, evangelicals, atheists, artists, and other unspeakable miscegenations. But, if I had to guess one thing about you, it is that you are still timid about firmly grasping the maypole and just enjoying your body and the garden of earthly delights that surrounds you.
So, let me present this small bouquet of songs about love, love-making, and summer evenings. Forget what lies beyond the veil. Grab this life in front of you, enjoy a fine wine/beer/whisky/smoke of your choice, devour a fabulous meal, and for the love of God make love.
To get you in the mood here is a small sample of sensual songs. My EP of Erotica if you will.
Harry Nilsson: Jump into the Fire
Poor Harry Nilsson. Writes a bad ass 7 minute long jam about being consumed by desire, but he’ll forever be remembered for the novelty song, “Lime in the Cocounut.”
The Pretenders: Night in my Veins
Chrissy Hynde singing about her uncontrollable lust? Too. Hawt. For. Words.
Afghan Whigs: Summer’s Kiss
Put on your rose fur coat baby. It’s 1973. Did the Afghan Whigs sing anything wasn’t implicitly about love and sex, or violence, or all three at once?
The Reverend Horton Heat: Do It One Time For Me (this song is rated X, you’ve been warned.)
The good reverend begs a girl to put on a show for him.